Navigating Through Unemployment
It has officially been six months since I got laid off from my job.
I went to work on April 10th, expecting a pretty busy but normal day. Between designing the GabiFresh x Swimsuitsforall collection for 2020 and helping my technical designer sketch items for FullBeauty's swim AND working on the regular cruise assortment I got to the office early and started working hard.
Whispers were echoing across the office that someone from Human Resources was in the office along with our VP and that something was going to happen. Honestly, I didn't think much of it! Our VP had regularly been making visits to the office since being put in charge of our division and having someone from HR didn't really surprise me.
Maybe an hour or so into my day my cell phone rang at my desk; It was the VP calling and he asked me to come to the other side of the office and meet him in one of the other rooms. My initial thoughts were maybe they were investigating a complaint, wanted more information or what was going on with my team, or that they were letting go of my boss!
After a few moments of anticipation, he started by saying, "I wanted to talk to you today about a really hard decision that we've had to make. In the wake of the company filing Chapter 11 at the beginning of this year we've had to make a lot of tough decisions and with that, your position has been eliminated."
My heart started to pound and my mind went blank. I could hear what he continued to say but I was in complete shock. He went on to say that my contributions have not gone unnoticed and that the company thanks me for all the hard work that I've put in during my time with the brand. They asked me several times if I had any questions, but I was too much in shock to think of any. I think the only question that I was able to think of was, "So what does the rest of my day look like?" to which the VP answered, "Well, you're probably going to go back to your desk, collect your personal belongings from your desk and go home." My next thought which I said out loud was, "But there's so much to do!" He started to laugh and then said to me, "Well, you don't really have to worry about that anymore."
I felt so overwhelmed with the guilt and the burden that I was going to be putting on my team that was already drowning in work.
When I got back to my desk I burst into tears and told everyone that I wasn't going to be working with them anymore. I cleaned out my desk, took personal files off my computer, and said my goodbyes. Being let go was something I thought would never happen to me at my age and salary. I figured that I was low enough on the totem pole that I wouldn't be let go but you just never know. I think what's worse is that I had no warning and wasn't sure what I needed to do next.
After calling my mom and sobbing on the phone I made my way out to Asbury Park where I played dress-up at Bettie's Bombshells'
After shopping I combed the beach and treated myself to lunch. Instead of going home and probably crying some more I decided to make it a day of doing some of my favorite things.
In the months since that day I've been applying, applying, APPLYING! I've gotten close a couple of times but haven't received an offer fit for me. I've been looking pretty much everywhere...from Seattle, to Minneapolis, to Pittsburg, New York City, to Boston to Philly but just haven't found a match just yet.
There are days where I feel so confident and like I'm on the right path and days where I am utterly lost, discouraged and depressed. It's been a confusing time for me but I've been doing my best to push through and not give up on what I want most.
Although I was designing swimsuits for three and a half years, I want to transition into activewear/lounge/knits. Since becoming a runner and a yogi, I have become really passionate about athletics and the clothes that go with it. I don't necessarily mean the cute work out clothes you only wear to go shopping in, but the nitty gritty you wear to get your workout done and leaves you sweating and feeling accomplished.
I've been applying to all the activewear brands that I can think of and then some! I'm hoping to find a company to work with that shares similar beliefs as I do when it comes to sizing, fabrics and sustainability. As I have gotten older and as the world has started to change, I realize more and more how important these aspects are when it comes to design. I know obtaining my dream job is not impossible but I know it might take some time and smaller steps to get there.
With all the time I've had off since being let go I've been able to do projects I put off, read books, clean the house regularly, spend time with my friends and actually save some money! I had no idea how much money I was spending weekly while I had a job until I was unemployed. Between gas and eating out a couple times I week the dollars really added up so it's been nice being able to conserve the money I've gotten while on unemployment. Unemployment in NJ is only for six months so my time has come to an end. I have applied for retail jobs in the interim which isn't ideal but I figured it would be a great way to reconnect with the customers and be with the product. I should know where I stand by the end of the week and hope that it will be a good fit while I search for something more creative.
I didn't think my first blog post in over a year would be about being unemployed but I wanted to share what I've been going through over the last few months. I am hoping to get more involved with blogging again and finishing up the projects I've been working on to share them with you! Life is pretty complicated at times but you have to keep pushing. I know all of this is temporary and I will be onto a new chapter soon.
Until next time,
Stay Strong and Style On
~Kristina
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